I’ve been basically retired for nearly seven years, although I worked with that writing job and advertised a few high school sports events.

In 2022, my wife Shelia and I will both be retired, because after 42 years of study, she finally leaves the daily routine, wakes up every day of the week with an alarm clock and the almost 20 miles of driving one way to go to work each Morning. She deserves a break after so many years of dedication to serving young people.

For many years our retirement dream has been to move to the beach and run a hot dog stand. With mobile food trucks growing in popularity, now seems like the perfect time. So we decided to sell our house and move to the Daytona Beach area. We have already secured a nice truck that can be transformed into a hot dog truck…only we don’t plan to sell hot dogs.

We decided to bring a bit of the south with us and sell bologna sandwiches. We’ll have cold bologna, fried bologna, cajun bologna, barbecue bologna and we’ll serve it the way I like it with a big old slice of tomato. We will also have the option of grilled onions and cheese. We can’t serve beer but we will have sweet tea available and now you really talk about a real southern treat.

Our kids don’t like the idea of ​​bologna sandwiches, but they like the concept of coming to the beach to visit us whenever they want. During the summer we can put the grandkids to work in the “baloney” truck, which is what I think I’ll call it. The “Baloney Truck”. Sounds rather eye-catching, doesn’t it?

How great would it be to be on the beach in 95 degree weather and at lunchtime to be able to get a great baloney sandwich with a bag of crisps and a big cup of cold sweet tea. We can’t wait to get out there and get started.

I hope all my friends from Chattanooga come visit us this summer, especially those who really love nonsense. And if you’re reading this column and sticking with it, you’ve just gotten your first big piece of nonsense.

Happy April Fools!

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Randy Smith can be contacted at [email protected]